So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
