So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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