I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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