is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
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