If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
