I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
