Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
