i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
