That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
