I just pynch a tree in the face
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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