Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
