How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
