I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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