she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
