That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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