Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Randomize
