i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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