Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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