"it" just moved
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
