the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
