gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
