Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
