I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
