quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
