but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
