Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
