Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We had to coat check the pizza.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
