My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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