im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
