that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
