"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
