the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
