ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
