Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
