her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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