She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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