God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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