only if we run a train.
done.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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