If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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