who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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