he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
he fucked my hip out of place.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
