Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
