i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
