so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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