I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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