also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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