Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
