Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
