just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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