she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
