so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Who died my cat blue again?
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