I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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